Thought I was OVER feeling sadness, until two days ago.
Two days ago I woke up with self doubt pinching my heart.
She squeezed me the minute I opened my eyes.
She told me, "You're simply not good enough." Then she left me standing all alone, in fear.
I employed my usual tools to get me back to balance.
But they didn't work.
I journaled about my feelings to try and discover from where Ms. self doubt came,
and found myself pouring out my tears and blamed everyone around me for my sorrow.
"If my husband..."
"If my children..."
I couldn't stand myself for most of the day- so I went to bed right after dinner.
I wrapped myself in the softest white fleece blanket
and prayed for peace.
The next morning, I woke up wondering...
"Is she still there?"
Fortunately, she was just a memory.
I instantly declared "Today is Compassion & Gratitude Day."
And in that moment
I filled myself up with love, acceptance and understanding of my fall.
I used my mantra, "Today is a brand new day", repeatedly.
With each self-compassionate moment- I gained back my inner strength & love.
I did some more journaling and discovered
I was in a state of Fear & Comparison...over nonsense.
I 100% forgave myself and pat myself on the back with a smile.
"You're only human Mary, with lots of feelings," I thought.
"You are here to learn & grow & love... and you did!" I realized.
I AM :)